No one understands…
Sometimes I feel like giving up!
Seems like my best just aint good enough
Lord if you hear me, ‘m calllin you!!
U do see, do you care all about what ‘m going through….
Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone
I’m just like a stranger so far from home
I feel like I’ve done all that I could do
Please LORD give me strength, I’m just tryin to make it through!!
(taken from Smokie Norful’s song… Understand)
Seems these words are ringing so loud to me lately.
No matter what I do, or say, or try..it’s just not good enough
No one will ever really understand me, or why I’m the way I am
And at this time, I don’t even care any more.
I’m the poisonous venom that snakes use to kill their prey
I’m seen as a mean, negative, heartless bitch just about every day.
Is it because I’m not always cheerful and happy?
Maybe it’s bcuz my views on life and most things are different from the norm.
But no one knows or can ever understand all of my storms
So I’m judged and everyone else but GOD is the jury.
At this point, it don’t even matter, my life is just so blurry.
At this point I don’t even care. And I wont even dare
Try to explain myself any more. This time I’m really giving up,
I was told friends pretend.
So I guess the few folks I let in
was just faking to like me
telling me what I want to hear
lending a false ear
But it’s okay, and life will go on with or without me.
I’m just tired of going through the motions, you see.
Happiness eludes me and I don’t care anymore
No one will ever begin to understand.
Why I’m the way I am,
Or the way I feel inside.
So I try to hide
But I cant
Bcuz it comes across as I’m a mean bitch
But truth is, if you actually get to the surface, you’ll see I’m not a witch
But it don’t matter any more
I give up, stayin to myself
It’s safer this way
Tired of tryin to explain myself
No one understands any ways.
Maybe it’s my fault
Bcuz I don’t let folks get close enough to get in too deep
But that’s to protect me, and maybe protect them too
See, I’ve living in a hell
But no one understands,
Bcuz they cant even tell
All they wanna do is yell.
Nora why are you this way
Was even called negative Nora by someone being a “friend”
But I know he just couldn’t comprehend
The person I am,
Well let me try to break it down a lil bit for you
I’ve been a childless mother for the last 13yrs, 9months
I am the reason my son died. I blame myself, but I’ll never tell why
I’m the reason my best friend Shelton was killed.
Because of my selfishness, I should have listened when he said he didn’t want to go skating.
If only I had just listened and stayed home or went to the movies like he wanted.
He’d still be here, well maybe.
I hear the bullets, I hear him telling me to come on, I feel him taking my hand and I see us running along with everyone else.
I no longer feel his hand in mine. I no longer see him,
Turn around, he’s on the ground
Layin on his stomach, blood every where.
That bullet wasn’t for him, but he was the only one shot
My best friend, is now gone because of me.
So all the bad things that has ever happened, I deserve them
The rape, the abusive, the unhappiness, and even chasing away those that I believe want to try to help me.
Those that care. Why would they or why should they care for me.
I just want to be left alone and not have to deal with any of this any more.
I want it to go away, but this pain I feel no one will ever understand.
And I’m not sure if I want them too.
See, I pick fights and do and say shit to make folks say, Nora, I’ve had enough.
So I put on the fake façade of being tough
Like I don’t care, but the truth is I do.
I just don’t know how to show it any more, so I just say, fine, I’m through, too
Sleepless nights
Cant sleep without a night light
Tired of all the fights.
Just want it to end
but there’s no need for a lengthy converstation
There’s nothing left to bare
a lonely heart can find no peace
and a fool’s paradise is no place I wanna be
……unfinished…..
*****Lyrics*****
I Understand
Sometimes I feel like giving up
Sometimes I feel like giving up!
Seems like my best just aint good enough
Lord if you hear me, ‘m calllin you!!
U do see, do you care all about what ‘m going through….
Sometimes I feel like I’m all alone
I’m just like a stranger so far from home
I feel like I’ve done all that I could do
Please LORD give me strength, I’m just tryin to make it through!!
(taken from Smokie Norful’s song… Understand)
Seems these words are ringing so loud to me lately.
No matter what I do, or say, or try..it’s just not good enough
No one will ever really understand me, or why I’m the way I am
And at this time, I don’t even care any more.
I’m the poisonous venom that snakes use to kill their prey
I’m seen as a mean, negative, heartless bitch just about every day.
Is it because I’m not always cheerful and happy?
Maybe it’s bcuz my views on life and most things are different from the norm.
But no one knows or can ever understand all of my storms
So I’m judged and everyone else but GOD is the jury.
At this point, it don’t even matter, my life is just so blurry.
At this point I don’t even care. And I wont even dare
Try to explain myself any more. This time I’m really giving up,
I was told friends pretend.
So I guess the few folks I let in
was just faking to like me
telling me what I want to hear
lending a false ear
But it’s okay, and life will go on with or without me.
I’m just tired of going through the motions, you see.
Happiness eludes me and I don’t care anymore
No one will ever begin to understand.
Why I’m the way I am,
Or the way I feel inside.
So I try to hide
But I cant
Bcuz it comes across as I’m a mean bitch
But truth is, if you actually get to the surface, you’ll see I’m not a witch
But it don’t matter any more
I give up, stayin to myself
It’s safer this way
Tired of tryin to explain myself
No one understands any ways.
Maybe it’s my fault
Bcuz I don’t let folks get close enough to get in too deep
But that’s to protect me, and maybe protect them too
See, I’ve living in a hell
But no one understands,
Bcuz they cant even tell
All they wanna do is yell.
Nora why are you this way
Was even called negative Nora by someone being a “friend”
But I know he just couldn’t comprehend
The person I am,
Well let me try to break it down a lil bit for you
I’ve been a childless mother for the last 13yrs, 9months
I am the reason my son died. I blame myself, but I’ll never tell why
I’m the reason my best friend Shelton was killed.
Because of my selfishness, I should have listened when he said he didn’t want to go skating.
If only I had just listened and stayed home or went to the movies like he wanted.
He’d still be here, well maybe.
I hear the bullets, I hear him telling me to come on, I feel him taking my hand and I see us running along with everyone else.
I no longer feel his hand in mine. I no longer see him,
Turn around, he’s on the ground
Layin on his stomach, blood every where.
That bullet wasn’t for him, but he was the only one shot
My best friend, is now gone because of me.
So all the bad things that has ever happened, I deserve them
The rape, the abusive, the unhappiness, and even chasing away those that I believe want to try to help me.
Those that care. Why would they or why should they care for me.
I just want to be left alone and not have to deal with any of this any more.
I want it to go away, but this pain I feel no one will ever understand.
And I’m not sure if I want them too.
See, I pick fights and do and say shit to make folks say, Nora, I’ve had enough.
So I put on the fake façade of being tough
Like I don’t care, but the truth is I do.
I just don’t know how to show it any more, so I just say, fine, I’m through, too
Sleepless nights
Cant sleep without a night light
Tired of all the fights.
Just want it to end
but there’s no need for a lengthy converstation
There’s nothing left to bare
a lonely heart can find no peace
and a fool’s paradise is no place I wanna be
……unfinished…..
*****Lyrics*****
I Understand
Sometimes I feel like giving up
It seems like my best just ain't good enough
Lord if you hear me, I'm calling you
Do you see, do you care all about what I'm going through
And then he says, one more day, one more step
See I'm preparing you for myself
And when you can't hear my voice, please trust my plan
I'm the Lord, I see and yes I understand
But sometimes I feel like I'm all alone
I'm just like a stranger so far from home
I feel like I've done all that I can do
Please Lord give me strength,
I'm just trying to make it through
That's when he told me one more day, one more step
See I'm preparing you for myself
And if you can't hear my voice, please trust my plan
I'm the Lord I see you and yes I understand
He knows how much we can bear
And in the time of trouble he promised he would always be there
I understand The Lord is telling you yes I understand I am the Lord
I see you and yes I understand
I am the Lord I changeth not
I won't forget nor have I forgot
You see every thing works according to my plan
I am God, trust me,
I got the whole world in my hand
One more day, one more step
I'm preparing you all for myself
And you can't hear me speaking, just trust my plan
I'm the Lord I see you and yes I understand
I'm the Lord I see and yes I understand
I am the Lord I see what you're going through
Every problem, every trial, every burden, every situation
I understand, I won't leave you I understand, understand, understand
